Go over the "The 5 Love Languages", this is something you guys can actually all do together. Get the book, it is totally worth it, it makes a huge difference if they are clear what yours are and that you know what theirs are. I found that we tend to do things for other that we want in return (or think we are supposed to do). Unfortunately, this can backfire if the other person doesn't view it the same way. I know there are a few threads on hear that deal with the 5 love languages and maybe some other links.
For me, I'll admit, flowers on rare occassions are nice, but if my husband really wants to score points and make me feel special, cleaning the bathroom is the way to go
. I'm an "acts of service" person, where my husband is "touch", so what works for me to feel loved doesn't work for him.