Since you mentioned BDSM affecting male fertility, I am guessing your h is into CBT. I never thought before, about how that could put stress on the vas deferens, perhaps causing a reversal of the vasectomy!
Food for thought!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)