I know how crummy that can be. I read a good book (with a bad title), called Why Men Can't Commit. Stupid title, had nothing really to do with what the book was about. It was written by a male psychologist who worked with primarily male clientele. And he talked about how most men don't even know how to describe their emotions, let alone figure out what the problem is. Many will react with anger to any vulnerable emotion-- so while they may feel sad, what you will see is anger.
He also said so many men can't sit there and say "hey, I'm feeling (sad, unhappy, depressed, vulnerable), why is that?" and then figure out what the deep root of the issue is. Us women spend our whole lives doing that, so it's like second nature to try to figure out what's wrong, but men don't necessarily work that way. A lot of times they will just "feel bad/want it to stop", so if someone is making me feel bad, I want them to stop or go away, or whatever it takes to stop feeling bad.
Anyway... not sure that helps, but for me it helps sometimes to remember that when I'm getting a bad reaction that comes out of the blue and I have no idea why.
Honestly... this is why we have counselors. Because if your Romeo is like my hubs... he needs a third party to focus him because he won't listen to me AT ALL when he's upset.
Hope you feel better today.