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Old 08-02-2011, 10:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Worrying about the poly stuff:
I was under the assumption that if you were using an on line dating site....that you would have about 10,000 non poly matches right in your backyard to weed through. So kicking out a match that was poly but was 2.5 hr away must have been something in the input process ... and hence the LDR difficulty . . . How does his wife describe it ...and how does she describe her relationships with her other lovers? Have you had any of these conversations with him or her???
You make it sound like "how could I choose a poly guy over non-poly?" as if non-poly is preferable. Well, I date anyone who is open to non-exclusivity, whether they ID as poly or not. And Burnsy is a great guy, very smart, attractive, we had good online chemistry, both work in the same industry, had fun conversations, and definite sexual attraction. That's why I moved forward to embark on an LDR with him. It wasn't what either of us were looking for, but we didn't rule it out. What do non-poly people in my own backyard have to do with it?

As to his wife, I know she has one boyfriend and was starting to consider having another, but I haven't asked about that since he first told me and don't know what she calls them or anything. I told you, I don't pry into their relationship. He tells me more about how he's tried to meet women than what she does.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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