Great tip to read the blog ....makes for better and more coherent questions...thanks
The reason I asked about the your boyfriends relationship was the possible relate-ability of the thread I started in which you and I had several back and forth interactions. When I read this I was thinking ...wow this guy may have had very similar conversations along the way....
Worrying about the poly stuff:
I was under the assumption that if you were using an on line dating site....that you would have about 10,000 non poly matches right in your backyard to weed through. So kicking out a match that was poly but was 2.5 hr away must have been something in the input process ... and hence the LDR difficulty
The comment about secondary status....I thought perhaps just coming out of a divorce you may not want that type of relationship ...which is why you selected to get involved with a guy who is in a ten year plus marriage... texting once or twice a day and a weekly phone call ...how would he describe it ?? How does his wife describe it ...and how does she describe her relationships with her other lovers? Have you had any of these conversations with him or her???