Originally Posted by TruckerPete
This is the second time today I've read you using the term platonic primary/secondary. Can you explain what you mean? Because to me, it's sounding suspiciously like trying to pass off friendship as a special subtype of poly.
Ok, please enlighten me. I've been working on understanding platonic love and non-platonic love as both forms of love instead of hierarchizing them. My idea is that platonic polyamory is licit and common in mainstream culture because monogamy is/was primarily designed to control sexual reproduction.
It may sound like I'm just playing with definitions, but think of it in context. When you're a single person hanging out with someone else's (monogamous) partner, they are likely feeling concerned if you start spending a lot of time as friends together. It is also likely that when you're not around, your friend's partner is going to be asking a lot of questions about why you're such good friends and where it's leading. Even if you promise that it's just friendship, there's likely to be some insecurity and jealousy. So making it explicitly "platonic polyamory" would hopefully resolve the tension of monogamous expectations and fears. Especially if the couple you were dealing with already had an open relationship, it would be that much less problem for you to develop a strong friendship, don't you think?