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Old 08-02-2011, 08:04 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
This is what happened to us. Had to hit bottom before we were ready to deal with 20 years of other shit. After nearly a year of struggling, we are in a better much place than we have ever been.
I do have hopes. When we were talking last night Hubs asked me "why does it always come down to you feeling like you need to fix it? " because I did what I always did and asked him what could I do to make things work better. The real problem here is... I feel that way because I feel like if I don't step up to do something, nobody else will. Part of that is life experience... but part of it is a deep-seeded feeling that I'm not worth the effort for somebody.

And the wierd part is it's not that *I* feel I'm not worth it... I just don't feel like anybody else will see that I am and actually put forth actual effort for me.

That's part of what I took away from last night. That I need to stop trying to fix everything. (Oh, yeah, my counselor told me that about two months ago...) It's time to let other people do some work, or not. But it's not always up to me to make things work. That's going to be a hard one to let go of, but I have to.
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