Originally Posted by nycindie
I didn't mean to sound like I was giving advice or minimizing your concerns. I simply agree that, short of going over there and bringing him home by the scruff of his neck, there is only so much control you have. I think I've told you I am a worrier as well (always was but intensified after 9/11). I just meant that I think letting go of the activity of worrying and counting your blessings might bring you some peace. But I never meant to imply that you shouldn't be concerned. Sorry if it came out that way. I'll stop posting to your blog now and give you space!
Sorry nycindie... I warned you ... mood.
You are correct in that worrying won't help. And the problem is, I have been letting go of worrying... and ignoring the issue, and being with myself, going to yoga, blah blah blah blah. That works for a while, until it stops working because the worry is still there, just buried under some yoga mats and a bottle of cheap white wine.
I am going to the counselor today so hopefully she can help me out of this and into figuring out what to make of my wierd-ass marraige.
In all honestly... this whole thing is not really a poly issue. It's an issue with our relationship by itself, which has never really gotten the attention and love it deserved because there was always too much crap going on that had to be dealt with. Maybe it was all good... it needed to happen to shine the light on this stuff... if we can get better because of it, or figure ourselves out enough to know what we can and can't be to each other.. then maybe it was all worth it.
Or we won't.