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Old 08-02-2011, 05:12 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hey Mango,

First - an old warning. Be careful about confusing jealousy & envy. Because the approach you take can be quite different. Nuff said on that - just a reminder. Because I think you are dealing more with envy here.

And I understand how it can rock our insecurity boat at times. But we do need reminders some times that there ARE other people in the world that may be better / suited for particular things than we are even though we 'dabble' in it ourself.

I might use a pool analogy. I enjoy a good game of pool and my primary mate likes playing too. And we have fun sometimes playing. But she's not really very good and I do still enjoy more of a challenge. She understands this and of course is not hurt or offended by it. If I have a chance for a comptetitive game she's quite content to step aside - maybe be the observer. Now granted, this is a bit different than relationship issues, and yet it has a common thread.

You might explore joining her as an observer ? Have you talked about / explored that ? That way you could not only learn some of the finer points she may be appreciating that you may be weak on, but can suck up some serious compersion !

One other point...............

There are "images" our lovers have about our role in their life - sexually or otherwise. It's pretty common that in order to maintain that carefully constructed image they have, it means they don't want us stepping outside certain boxes. This is similar - although different - to what I was saying above. They prefer we don't ............tarnish their image by dabbling in stuff they prefer others to fill.
If that makes any sense.........


Last edited by GroundedSpirit; 08-02-2011 at 05:14 PM.
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