Originally Posted by Minxxa
My mistake was thinking that in making these choices he should or would keep me in mind and maybe choose not to do some things because of me. He's never been that person so I'm not sure where that idea came from. But I need to let that go too.
I weirdly enough until very recently thought that thinking about your SO's preferences while making relationship decisions regarding OSOs is harmful, and it's controlling and bad form to ask consideration from your partner in these matters. But maybe I'm a bit conceptually fuzzy on the whole control/consideration/compassion scale.
"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."
"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."
"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.