Originally Posted by redpepper
I totally agree Ceoli, well put... my spaces are filled quite nicely thank you very much. Because I made them first, tried some people on and found who I needed...
Actually, for me, it's kind of the opposite. I've always found it hard to find people to fit pre-made spaces in my life. It would be very limiting for me. What I meant by finding spaces for the people in my life is more about not pre-assigning how people will fit into my life, but more finding ways to wrap my life around the people I meet.
For instance, right now, I've been caught up in exploring a new relationship. But the trouble is he lives on the west coast and I'm bound for London eventually. Now, normally, there wouldn't be room for him because I know I want a love that I can live with and form a family with, etc...I want to be able to have loves that can keep me company. But at the same time, the feelings are very real between us and it doesn't make sense for me to just discard them. So we're just relaxing and letting this go in the direction that's right for both of us with the limitations placed on it. It could be that we just remain long distance friends who connect deeply. We could make concerted efforts to travel to see each other often. Or I could decide that he's worth moving to the west coast for. But I can't pre-plan how this guy is going to fit in my life. I'll just have to see.
Making spaces for the people who come into my life allows me to do that.