I'm a bit confused. Are you already in a "V" with both men, or just thinking about starting to have sex with Jeff?
Your guys are already good friends?
Jeff has his own place, but you're thinking he should move in with you?
Do you want Jeff, for him, or just to get a second dad for your boy, and brothers for him?
Is your husband all on board with you having a second man in the mix here? Have you worked through early NRE already (new relationship energy)?
Read Redpepper's blog in our blog section. She lives with her 2 men and the son of one of them. She also talks about coming out to her parents as poly. In her house, each of the adults has their own room, and she splits time between Mono and PN, as well as having personal space when she needs it. Unlike you, she lives in a liberal area, so afaik, her son talking about living with "2 daddies" has not been a huge issue.
For now, I'd think other people could just be told Jeff is a close family friend and the kids get along great, so they spend a lot of time with your family.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37