Originally Posted by ihaveasecret
You are an excellent writer. Wondering how it all turned out. If you're still out there, please give us an update.
We were able to come to an understanding about the issues I raised. The info I got from here was very helpful. Ultimately, the problem we had was, I think, generational. There was 15 years between us, and the word "no" meant different things to each of us. The first time it happened, it was smoothed over with a very sweet apology, but the second time I said no (because my adult daughter was upstairs) and not respected, that ended the relationship.
I'm still rather ambivalent about poly relationships, though I realize my ex and I were somewhat poly at different points in our marriage, as the marriage grew and changed over 29 years. This experience didn't sour me on polyamory, since that wasn't the problem in the end!
Thanks to everyone who offered help!