Originally Posted by nycindie
................ So, I hope this makes sense as an inquiry, but I'm wondering...
How many of the most successful poly tangles have become that way from a foundation of reading, discussing, extensive soul-searching, and a dedication to self-knowledge beforehand, and how many of them had to overcome devastation and save themselves from drowning because they jumped into the deep end of the pool without much forethought or preparation beforehand?
In my way of thinking, most of the difficulty is caused by the fact that, in general, people don't take the time to think about what "love" really is and how it progresses. It's simply too much effort and nobody stipulates it's required. We can just swallow the pill form.........
The media, past and
present, is overloaded with a distorted, unrealistic 'definition' of love that people swallow whole and expect to live within. There isn't that 'soul-searching you speak of except for a small minority of people.
This single fact seems to be at the root of all difficulty with living 'poly'.
It's extremely difficult to overcome such a heavily stacked deck. This is one of the reasons I've always been an advocate of required 'education' in the realm of love (and sex) before any marriage is permitted. And I'm NOT talking the low key, sugarcoated version give to kids in school. I'm talking the REAL DEAL, the hard stuff, the stuff that requires that deep understanding and soul searching.
We don't allow drivers on the road without driver education............