I talked with LL this morning at her request. I think my supposition was correct - she was minimizing my potential pain in order to not feel too guilty about her choice. But, to her great credit, she was the caring person I know her to be this morning. And, acknowledged that she wasn't fully considerate of our history and my feelings.
At least, it makes me feel like I'm not crazy in having the confused and hurt reaction that I did. I still feel saddened and disappointed that we will no longer be partners/lovers. It is a ton easier to deal with those emotions without thinking that I was/am somehow deluded about where and what the relationship we had actually had been; questioning whether or not she actually had any emotional connection to me.
I know she does (or feel affirmed in that deeper level of understanding) and I'm better able to integrate her choice into the arc of our connection.
Happier for her. Still proccessing my own loss. Fully content with where things are.
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”