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Old 07-30-2011, 07:38 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner View Post
We are talking and I'm only crying when I go in another room. . .

. . . He said that we betrayed him by falling in love and that j was no longer his friend. Keep in mind they had been friends for 20 years before I stupidly told him how I felt. I guess when I actually spoke the words it all changed. He is so angry that we fell in love. I never meant to fall for J but it happened after a decade of friendship.

He is upset that I don't see how we betrayed him. . . I hurt that they are right here in the same house and aren't friends. J doesn't know they aren't friends anymore.

. . . I miss my fun loving husband that has been replaced by this angry hurt man who just feels betrayed.
It is extremely sad that you must go and hide in another room to feel your feelings. Your husband sounds quite immature emotionally and is being irrational, dictatorial, and possessive toward you and in what he wants. I hope he reads this! You should not feel that telling him you fell in love with his friend was "stupid." You were being honest and straightforward. He apparently would rather put blinders on and enjoy sport sex than deal with human emotions.

All the turmoil you are going through is not your fault. It is your husband's for not allowing you to be yourself, and for thinking he owns you and has a right to tell you what you can and cannot feel. You fell in love. That happened because you and J. simply had a connection -- you didn't fall in love on purpose to hurt your husband. If I were SunDrop, I would wonder if he was just using me to get back at you.

Perhaps you should start looking at your relationship with J., your bf, as your primary and let go of thinking that your marriage will ever be the same. Unless and until your husband stops being a brat, I don't see how it can ever be healthy again.
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