Have you done much reading/research here - particularly on NRE ?
What you describe on the surface seems typical of that. If so be aware it DOES pass. Things settle in.
I think if you two communicated better - did some common reading & research this would all flow better.
He needs to understand that the NRE phase can be really scary for the other partner if not handled properly. And it could well be either of you that ends up on the "feeling left out" end at some point. You need to develop the skills to work through this - NOT run from it ! Which seems to be what you want to do now by forcing some wedge between he and her. If it's not her it may well be someone else in the future.