I wanted to come back and give everyone an update on where we are...
My partner had a talk with the other guy and the other guy told him that he was being selfish and trying to manipulate the circumstance so it benefited him. My partner agreed with him. The other guy (knows me) feels very bad, ashamed, and sorry for allowing this to happen.
So, basically I talked to the other guy on the phone and he has apologized to me and he thinks he is a bad person and what not. I explained to him that I didn't think he was a bad person at all. I actually thanked him for the experience, because this has allowed my partner and I a chance to have some very intimate talks about our feelings and our relationship. I truly believe that my partner didn't love me any less or anything like that, but was simply in love with 2 people.
Right now, we are dealing with my partner having a broken heart. I can understand that I am trying to be as supportive as I can, giving him the time to heal and get through this. I struggle a little bit because I am kind of embarrassed by the situation and can't talk to my friends about this, so I am dealing with a lot of emotions on my own...as well as a broken heart. A broken heart because I know at one time I was not the partner I needed to be in this relationship. I got comfortable, lazy, sloppy...and I took everything for granted. This experience has helped me to realize that I cannot talk our relationship for granted and has allowed me to begin the personal journey of working on my negative traits. I know I am not perfect, and will not be able to fix this all at once, but I owe it to myself, my partner, and my relationship to work on these things, and I committed to doing so.
So, the other guy has decided to leave our lives. I think this really hurts my partner, because if nothing else, he did want a friendship with this guy, but the guy says it is not possible.
I have told my partner that I would be open to new adventures in our relationship, but it is very important to be me that we do this together and build it on trust and honesty, both of which he needs to repair with me.
I really appreciate the support and tough questions people have asked of me here. I have done a lot of research on this site, and I can understand that is ok to love more than 1 person and have that connection with someone else.
I will still poke around here...maybe I could offer advice to someone in my shoes...