We all just toss out what comes to mind in the spirit of being helpful. You determine what applies, what could be helpful, and what is not.
That being said, it does seem that honest communication is an issue. I think if you keep on expressing your fears, expectations, disappointments, and anger, and encourage him to do the same, something constructive and good should come of it. I wonder why he does not feel safe being truthful. Perhaps he is holding onto some guilt from before and was hiding his actions to avoid confrontation.