Thank you for the kind words. It is just hubby and I and the kids tonight. We are talking and I'm only crying when I go in another room. My OSO doesn't get on here but hubbys does. I really wish we could all be on here because they would both benefit greatly by everyone advice.
Hubby told me tonight that he knew J and I were in love before we would admit it to ourselves. He said that we betrayed him by falling in love and that j was no longer his friend. Keep in mind they had been friends for 20 years before I stupidly told him how I felt. I guess when I actually spoke the words it all changed. He is so angry that we fell in love. I never meant to fall for J but it happened after a decade of friendship. I'm not sure why it was ok as long as we didn't ever talk about it. If he knew for years that we were in love and just never told anyone including each other then why didn't it bother him before? It must be the male female thing or something. He is upset that I don't see how we betrayed him. He had feelings for a girl who stayed with us and we all slept in the same bed. Then he thought he was in love with another chick. That was fine and not part of our swinging life. Then he met M and we found Polly. Then I finally worked up enough courage to admit my feelings to my self then hubby. It was a couple months before hubby told me I could tell J what was going on so he would know why hubby was treating him the way he was. When I told J how I felt he started to cry and hugged me. He told me he loved me to so much and that he couldn't believed I loved him back. Since then they have not been the same. I hurt that they are right here in the same house and aren't friends. J doesn't know they aren't friends anymore. It will kill him so I won't tell him Hubby will have to do that on his own. He already feels bad about everything that he had put hubby through in the past but hubby can't forgive him for any of it and throws it up in his face every chance he can. I miss my fun loving husband that has been replaced by this angry hurt man who just feels betrayed. I wish I could fix it but it isn't my place to try. If hubby doesn't want his friend back and can't forgive him then it will tear us all apart. At least I think it will.