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Old 07-29-2011, 11:27 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by River View Post
If one of us is feeling this way or that way, we'll just say so.
Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Anytime I feel smothered, or need space, or am to busy, I just say so.
This is how I always have wanted it. This is what I used to ask Shorty for, too. Just let me know what the fuck is going on.

One time when we spoke on the phone, he indicated that my texting him almost every day was too much. Not too much contact per se, but too much in the sense that he thought I might have bigger expectations than he did. So I backed off. He still doesn't make much effort to reach out to me. After a few weeks of very sporadic, very platonic messages, and then a week of no messages at all, I tell him (two days ago) that I miss hearing from him and his response was "Oh, it has been a long time. Sorry, I let the days slip away from me." This is the second time he sent me a message like that, basically telling me I am out of sight, out of mind. Afterward, as I stated in my previous message in this thread, he said he could never forget me, BUT only after I said to him, "I don't want you to forget me."

It would all feel so very differently, had he sent me a message before a somewhat long-ish period of silence just to say, "Will be busy this week, won't be in touch for a while." But, no, he's not contacting me, and obviously not thinking of me.

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Your personal bullshit-meter should tell you, but if you feel your insecurities are over-riding it, then relax, and don`t message the person.
Well, it's too late for that, now, because I did tell him last night in no uncertain terms what had me feeling so disappointed. But I don't think this came out of any insecurities of mine (not saying I don't have them, but they were not at play here).

He apologized and chalked it up to being new at poly. I'll give him that, but I still have needs. We're supposed to talk tonight. Still waiting for his call.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 07-29-2011 at 11:33 PM.
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