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Old 10-21-2009, 04:52 PM
Tech Tech is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Well, you've come to the right place!
I'm not poly (personally), but my wife is, and we've discussed thoughts similar to yours many times. As far as I know, truly poly people simply love differently than monos.

I love her, I have no need for someone else to love. She doesn't "need" to love someone else, but if she falls in love, it is *possible* for her to love someone else (and she has).

Try not to think of it as him "not loving you enough to be with only you". Try to see that he can love more than one person the same amount without loving one less than the other.

My mind works very mathematically. And I used to ask my wife if she has 100% of love, and she starts loving someone else, how is it possible for me to not think that I'm getting LESS than 100% of her love. She indicates that her love is not quantify-able and she has 100% of love for both of us. My mind can't grasp that, but I can trust that what she tells me is true. (Now to work on balancing that "time issue"...there's not infinite time, lol.)

I hope this helps!
You've come to the right place for sure though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bgfgirl View Post
...I believe him when he says that but I feel like it obviously isn't the kind of deep love I have for him. I've been struggling with this for a long time. I've never really been conventional when it comes to relationships but I'm hurt that he doesn't love me enough to be with only me. I think if I am so damn special to him then why am I not the only one? If he is poly or even slightly how is it possible for him to truely love me and still want others?
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