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Old 07-29-2011, 07:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 5,806

Originally Posted by River View Post
Leaving aside the particulars of this specific relationship, and looking at the broad statement quoted here about "2 against one", I must throw in my own two cents. As a generic statement, I think this is very unfair to couples who might like to have a very balanced and genuine triad. This (quoted) statement, generically applied, assumes that everyone will engage in some sort of unfair and unkind ranking system based on longevity of relationship, etc. Perhaps few people are mature and sophisticated enough to transcend these ego games, but no people?
Sorry River. But in having been dating now for 2 1/2 years I have been led on, and outright lied to by so many men who are in relationships with another woman.

Oh, she's fine with it
Oh, she's way too vanilla, I need a kinky partner
Oh, she knows about you (she didn't)
Oh, she's a lesbian now, we haven't had sex in 3 years, we're only together for the kids, I want YOU
Oh, she was fine with my last gf that I saw for 3 years (and then his wife dumped them after he and I had had 3 dates [no sex] and he was too grieved to continue dating me)
Oh, we've been divorced 5 years, I am totally over her (and yet, she's obsessed with tormenting him using their kids as pawns, so now he has no energy to date me-- that's the latest guy)

And that's just me. Of course, how many people here have been hurt in the same way? Lied to, told hopeful half truths, manipulated...

Who knows what the percentages are on successful triads or Vs compared to total heart rending disasters?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
In a newish relationship with Steve, (34, poly, my Top)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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