Originally Posted by PickMoreDaisies
He feels differently. He is hurt that when the really bad things happen in my life I turn away from him. i just can't feel OK with burdening him with this. It shouldn't change HIS life.
Of course he feels hurt by this, you are telling him that you don't trust him and in turn making both of you miserable.
Personally, some of the thought that would be going through my mind if I was in his situation would be 1. she would abandon me if the situation were reversed 2. she has a very low opinion of me 3. If she really loved me she wouldn't push me away. I'm sure that none of these are the messages you really want to send.
Poly isn't a 'lifestyle' choice...you can't just turn it off when the going gets tough...well maybe some people can...I don't know.
Slowing down/backing off temprorarily is not "turning it off". Neither is just expressing your struggle with it at the moment. He may not even have the "need" to date at the moment (or as often) except for the fact that you are pushing him away. Let him decide what he needs.
For reasons beyond both of your control, you need more from him than you did before. This is not a bad thing, it is life. When you do talk to him, remember to listen to what he says to you also, let him be a part of the solution. He may have a compromise that works better for everyone and right now you are denying him that opportunity.
I would also seriously suggest that you get evaluated for depression.