I can't tell him that I can't handle him dating.... i would rather leave than ask that. i don't know why. I think I'm afraid if I tell him to stop and then later I am OK with things again I will feel like it was not necessary to ask him to stop. It seems like a better option to leave, get my feet on the ground, come to terms with things and then come back when i can deal with things again.
He feels differently. He is hurt that when the really bad things happen in my life I turn away from him. i just can't feel OK with burdening him with this. It shouldn't change HIS life. Poly isn't a 'lifestyle' choice...you can't just turn it off when the going gets tough...well maybe some people can...I don't know.
I will try and talk to him some more...