I hope this helps................
True 'communication' really is an art form and unfortunately very few of us get much coaching in it growing up.
This COULD be really simple because there's loads of help out there - courses, seminars, self help books etc, that you have access to.
But in order for THAT to work, you BOTH have to acknowledge you are NOT communicating AND have the willingness and desire to fix that.
If you have that the rest is easy !
See if you can have just this conversation with him. This needs to be a "we both suck" kind of conversation not one about who's the worst, at fault etc etc. Just from your writing I think it's obviously a true statement - "we both suck !".
Then see if there's desire to get better at it.
Maybe there isn't...............
That's another thread.