Like Openbj and Sage said - counceling will help.
Originally Posted by sage
I told Z I cry when discussing hard stuff because I can't help it but he needs to ignore it if he can and focus on what I'm saying rather than the tears. I find if I talk often there is less emotional build-up and so the crying is less.
Tell your husband that you need to be heard and not fixed. The fixing can evolve later. Just start by asking him to listen to you and hold you without commenting.
I too cry anytime there is flood of emotions. What I have learned through our counceling, is that the tears usually come when I feel I'm not being heard or feel like I'm being dismissed. Unless it's PMS week
Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner
I have brought up counseling so many times but I don't feel like I am worth the effort to go.
You don't feel like your the effort so no one goes or he won't go so you don't feel like your worth the effort? For us it took a major crisis and it was a choice between divorce or counceling. I just made an appointment and said "If you want to stay married you will go with me, the appointment is tomorrow at 7pm." That was nearly a year ago and we still are going once a month. It has made a world of difference and well worth it.
Communication takes work and stuff we might have been able to brush aside and ignore early on eventually becomes a big deal. Faceing each other is a big part of that, you can't communicate well if your talking to someones back.