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Old 07-28-2011, 07:25 AM
newbiepoly newbiepoly is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5
Default insecure... but is it normal or should I "get over it"?

So I'm starting to date this couple and it's been really great so far, but I also recently got out of something and I'm realizing over time how much it really affected me.
The last relationship I was in wasn't healthy and I didn't realize it and until I officially ended it how unhealthy it really was. I felt like I wasn't allowed to talk about the bad things in my life because her life was so much harder than mine and she would give me crap about it. She didn't ever want to listen to me if I was having a hard time and was rarely ever sympathetic. When we had a minor misunderstanding it got blown way out of proportion and she started attacking me and stating hurtful things (that I was selfish, playing a game with her and I was bratty and that she had wanted to call me bratty many times before, etc) and the misunderstanding was that she was driving me home and I didn't fully understand what she was saying (I have a hearing loss). It was very 180 and hurtful. I am noticing now, after I've cut her off, that I haven't been acting myself ever since we broke up (early June) and that I feel like I'm not allowed to really talk about anything; that I keep seeing myself through her eyes.
This new couple I am seeing, it's very strange how comfortable and free flow everything is and it feels great but at the same time, I'm a little insecure because I feel like I've been torn up and spat out... but when I think about that, I start to feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing but... again, I feel really damaged by this last relationship I was in and I think it's understandable to feel that way.
I'm stuck and want to be open and honest with this couple but I'm scared I will overdo it and will be seen as someone who can't over an ex...but, I feel like this is more than a simple "not letting go of the past" issue... I don't know. I'm stuck.
They know I was in a bad relationship before but they don't know the full on details. They are all about taking it as it is, but, we've hung out 4 times and 3 of those times we've had sex and it's been great but I'm starting to get nervous now.
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