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Old 07-28-2011, 05:52 AM
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openbj openbj is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: OK, USA (but our hearts remain in TX)
Posts: 102

I suggest counseling. A counselor can help you guys work through the emotions to reach what really needs to be said in a more effective way. And a lot of times, one person just needs to shut up and listen to what the other has to say, then step back to chew on what was said, and come back later with a clearer head. This is a hard one for me. I always seem to need to get my two cents in right away without any real thought or filter on anything. But, I am getting better about it. Also, writing things out is a great way to get what you're trying to say into a clearer, less threatening manner. And no matter what.....DO NOT RETALIATE WITH WORDS!!! As angry as something may make you, bite that tongue!! Wait until you've thought it through before responding. This may take until the next day or the next week, but make sure you have thought it through first. I've almost wondered if I'd make my tongue bleed sometimes lol. The heat of the moment is not the time to try and get your point across about very sensitive subjects. We all know, it just ends up coming out wrong during those times.

One of my favorite quotes: "Right actions produce right attitudes" Put the right actions into practice (even if you don't feel like doing it) and after a while, the right attitude will come along with it.
Married 12 1/2 years. Female. Straight. New to poly.
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