NRE vs. old relationship comfortableness
I'm having a small problem with dealing with the differences in my two relationships. The other one is 8 years old and the other one less than 4 months old. As you can guess, the newer relationship is still quite full of NRE and our time together is intense and full of emotions. So, the thing is that when I spend time with JJ (the one I've been with for 8 years) after spending time with rory, it always takes me a while to get used to the fact that our relationship is in a different place. There's love of course, but it's less intense and the NRE has worn off a long time ago. I'm finding it hard to remember not to expect same things from these relationships and sometimes I find myself being a little disappointed with the time spent with JJ.
I think there might be something in our living arrangements that have to do with this. I used to live together with JJ, but for the last 9 months or so I've been living apart from him, exept for one 1 month period during that time. This is because of my job. So because at the moment I'm not living with either one of my partners, I only spend "quality time" with them. I mean that I mainly see my partners during the weekends and because there's two of them, I see JJ about twice a month. Because we don't share our everyday life together at the moment, I feel like we should make the most of it when we're together. And that's when I notice that I'm expecting fireworks with him too, even though after 8 years there really isn't much of that anymore. Time with him is comfortable, nice, loving and all that. How come it's so hard to accept that this quality time with him just can't be the same as it is with my other partner? How do I start appreciating more this different kind of time spent with him?
My live-in partners: rory
My metamour: Lily (rory's partner)