I was lied to because it was a mutual friend...and I knew there were feelings before and my partner and I talked about it and he said that he could keep it under control...I actually told him he could never talk to this person again...I did some deep thinking about it and came back to him and told him it wasn't right of me to say that to him...so they started talking again. The talking has turned into love...they care about each other and love each other...I found out from a text message on the phone...I had no idea this was happening...with talking to my partner this has been going on for 2 months and they were planning on meeting up this weekend, because the guy was going to be back in town.
My partner had no intentions of telling me. He said he feels better with me finding out because he hated going behind my back. He says he loves me and cares about me and he thinks he is capable of loving 2 people. He wants to have this relationship with the other guy and with me and hopes that all 3 of us could come together and ultimately live together.
Like I have said before, I am a very open minded person. I am digging deep within my soul to try and be ok with this...to try and accept this...because I love my partner and don't want to lose the relationship...but I am just not sure I am capable of doing it. I feel so selfish, because I want him to have things in his life he wants, it excites me to think about experiencing things with him, pushing my boundaries and who I am as a person.
I am just having such an issue with this...I don't know why...as I feel selfish, I feel he is selfish too...why can't I be enough? Why am I not enough to deserve 100% of his love...
I have not eaten in 3 days, I can't function at work...I am crying on and off during the day...I just have to figure this out for me...for us...My partner has said he would cut all times if I say from this other guy...and while that would be the easy way out, I just can't do it...I don't want to be the controlling person in the relationship telling him who he can talk to or not...
Thank you so much for the advice, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it...I am just hurting so bad right now...well I ever be ok with this? Can I handle it?