Then I really suggest reading the thread "lessons learned" and "poly foundations" it sounds like starting fresh with no lies is your best bet, but everone agreeing is important. You might find it is worth all of you reading those threads.
I'm sorry you are hurting. It sounds like you have been cheated on. The best way out of that I have noticed is to ask them to go at your pace and be patient. Ask them to respect your boundaries so that you can catch up.
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