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Old 07-27-2011, 01:41 PM
1stTime4Everything 1stTime4Everything is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 9

thanks for responses. you all make some valid points...

i reread my post and i agree that this all seems a bit "high school" as well....i'm not sure if the typos had any influence in the sense of immaturity that comes across, but just in case it did, i just want to say that i was a bit flustered and upset last night when i wrote it and i posted it from my any case, maybe it is all a bit immature, but i suppose thats more reason for me to have found this forum as an outlet to gain support and insight on how to approach and deal with this in a mature way.....maybe we aren't ready to for a serious healthy relationship with a third person....i can certainly see why.....and i want to work on it.....but i have no doubt in my marriage...every disagreement and problem that arises, we try to work through and it only makes us stronger and closer to each other....

i agree that alcohol needs to stop being involved...the biggest problem is my husband's desire for it to be about sex, and my desire for it to be something a lot bigger than just sex...the suggestion of finding a swinger's club is one that i have brought up to my husband before......and one of you mentioned that what i'm describing isn't poly at all....okay, i can see and understand that....i feel as though its what i want to aim for....and i'm still extremely new to the whole concept so i realize this won't be something that will just happen right away....i realize now it may be years and years down the road before we finally are ready to take that step....

another point was made about women never really pursuing their crushes or fantasies.....this is what i believe is the case with my close friend whom i am attracted to and have feelings for...she has told me she is attracted to me but i know she most likely would never act upon it for whatever reasons she is another reason that is causing me to struggle with this, for fear that any woman i try to explore with or build a relationship with will not want to in return....i guess that comes with this whole process tho?

but anyways, first and foremost, me and my husband need to be on the same page....and obviously we are not....again, i realize my story seems just about sex but this i think is the problem, as i want more than just will start with my husband and i talking through this and working on ourselves first before anything else....

thanks again for the responses. it certainly has helped.
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