Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner
I think I have decided to do what everyone else does and just deal with me. I can only try so much but when i fail every time there is no point to it any more. I will live my life and enjoy my kids and my OSO and see where hubby and sundrop decide they feel the most comfortable. I don't want anyone to think I come on here to get people to feel bad for me. I'm pretty sure that is what my family is thinking is happening here. When I say family I mean SD too I don't think she is comfortable with that but it is how I see her. She is family to me and was a good friend too.
I don't think people are feeling "bad" for you. They are giving you honest opinions about what they see going on with the benefit of experience in having been there-done that.
Of course any advice you can take or leave... but my feeling is that if your family is having issues with you being there, then maybe they need to look at themselves first and figure out WHY it's an issue for them. Maybe they've just been doing what they want to, and don't want to think that it's not working for you. Or maybe they've been too into their NRE to see how others are being affected. Or maybe because you've been "good" with everything they had no idea there were issues. All of these things happen in mono relationships, too, unless people talk about what's going on.
But if somebody is not listening to you, and not wanting to really hear your feelings-- Whether They Do Anything Differently Or Not-- then maybe they're not ready for multiple relationships as having that ability (or developing it) is VITAL. No relationship is going to survive if one person is blowing off the other people's feelings. They dont' have to understand them, they don't have to agree with them. But they DO need to listen and accept them.