This forum can be a real resource and help to you. Obviously there are many inequities and issues going on, and you are not getting the attention and acknowledgment you need from your husband. It doesn't seem like your living arrangement is fair for everyone in a lot of ways (you need to work more to support the household, yet she only supports herself?), and you have been under a great deal of stress. There is nothing wrong with hubs' GF (sundrop?) backing off to give you and your hubs time to reconnect. You are his primary, correct? And yet she has him five nights a week - that just doesn't make any sense to me. In fact, if I were you, I'd say that without more time with your husband, your quad can't really function very well at all. You need more stability and health in your primary relationship if poly is going to work for any of you.
You don't need to delete your profile or stop posting. One thing you can do is contact members via PM to have private discussions. If there is a member whose feedback and posts you like, click on their username and you will see an option to "Send Private Message" if they have allowed for that in their User Controls. If you delete your account, you can't do that.