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Old 07-26-2011, 04:28 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Hi and welcome to the forum


You are having what is called New Relationship Energy with a book that does not apply or apeal to everyone....I know it's hard to believe LOL! Remember, this is a pop culture book and was never submitted to any scientific journal for peer review (kind of like a Micheal Moore documentary).

Quote:
Originally Posted by jackbungee View Post
The rest of "civilized" society must also be starving but maybe they cope with it in other ways? Do other people feel as alienated as me? As depressed as desperate? And A how I long to be honest with her.
No, not all of civiclization is not feeling what you are, much of it is quite happy in sexual exclusivity. But you are certainly not alone.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jackbungee View Post
If only she could understand how opening our relationship would be good for everyone. ?
You have to own this statement....it would be good for you. You can't assume it would be good for her and in most cases, a relationship that starts mono and becomes a mon/poly one is not good for the mono partner. Usually it involves pain and emotional instability that leaks into most areas of that person's life. Of course, denying your desire for more partners has the same affect so you are in a hard place my friend.

So, instead of trying to convince her of a theory that works for you perhaps start thinking of the greater good. Start talking to her bluntly about what you need, listen to what she needs and think of the overall health of your family. Maybe it is time to push her and see how she really reacts, maybe it's time to go separate ways.

Just keep you thoughts clear about the reality of your situation. Sometimes the grass looks much greener on the other side and sometimes it is. Other times you end up looking back thinking what the fuck did I just give up.

Good luck
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