Maybe I am being selfish!
New here! HI! Been reading the boards for a week or so now, and so happy that I found somewhere to answer questions that i've had for a long time! Thanks!!!
ok... this one might take a long time to explain.
This time last year, (While separated from my hubby) I met an amazing couple who opened my eyes to polyamory (Something I always felt, but never knew had a name!). We dated shortly, and I quickly moved in with them. It was a whirlwind of love and emotion. We all feel quickly in love. After a few weeks, hubby told me that he really wanted to work things out, and asked me to please move home. I wanted him back, and my family together again (We have 2 young children together) so I left the couple and moved home. (We have an even stronger relationship than ever and things are great!) I stayed in contact with the wife, and her and I did see each other a few times after I left (Non sexually... lunch and dinner, shopping with 2 of her children).
Fast forward to now: Hubby and I sat down, and I explained that I feel like I just cannot be in a Mono relationship, and I would like to find a 3rd. (For a V) but hubby is uncomfortable with situation of a V and wants a Triad. I spoke with the husband that I used to date (Who i miss like crazy, and we still get along amazing) and told him that I want to be with them again, however my hubby would want to get to know the wife and see if they hit it off. Then it would turn into a wife swapping of sorts, but where both females would be with each other and each other's hubby's. I am not sure that my hubby would accept that. I am fairly certain that the husband would think it over. I have talked to her briefly about it. And the ideal situation (FOR ME) would be that this works out and i can keep all 3 of these amazing people that I love in my life for an extended period of time. (My kids love those 2 and their 3 kids love me) and I feel like if we all worked at it, and put past hurt behind, that we COULD make it work.
Am I just being selfish for wanting the best of both worlds (My family and theirs) or am I being reasonable in thinking that this could work?? The couple have been living a Poly lifestyle for a few years, and have been swingers before.. but I dont want this to be just a sexual thing. I want to be able to have one big family!
I am excited thinking about it, scared that i could end up hurt, or that they will end up hurt if i come into their life again and have to leave.