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Old 07-26-2011, 05:44 AM
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openbj openbj is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: OK, USA (but our hearts remain in TX)
Posts: 102

Deep breaths and caution have become a regular for me. I don't laugh it off with him. He knows how seriously I hold all of this. I'm sorry if seemed that I was laughing it off on here, but I'm really not. I hold keeping my husband's honor very highly, so you probably won't ever see me fully vent about him or bash him ever on here. That's just not how I work. We are really pretty private people, so even posting the little history that I have here, is outside of our norm. But we both understand that some things need to be shared if we truly want sound advice.

With him, our conversations go very deep and he knows exactly where I stand. In fact, I've probably asked him to just tell her the truth at least 5 times over the last week. But, he is two months into this lie and doesn't see the point in causing her pain over something that is just going to end in 2 weeks anyways.

Now, I'm also not naive enough to think that just because she goes to college and we move away, that all texting and phone calls will immediately cease. I realize that that's something that is going to have to taper off and settle on it's own because they are friends. And if they continue to talk as friends for quite a while, he knows that I fully expect him to either tell her the truth or at the very least tell her that he and I have worked things out and there will be no divorce or separation. But, I'm not sure that's going to happen. Their relationship is very shallow and I don't see her being too interested in what he's up to once she gets around all those college guys. He's also already making comments about, "She seemed so mature at first, but the more I'm around her, the more I realize just how young she is " "She's starting to get really whiny with me if I suggest doing something (like going to the casino) that she doesn't like." Stuff like that does not sit well with him.
Married 12 1/2 years. Female. Straight. New to poly.
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