Sorry to hear things have been so stressed and full of drama for you all.
Originally Posted by PipersGirl
So, my question is this: how can I (we) help her see that it's healthier for her, her relationship with D and the overall relationship among the four of us if she's less focused on him and spends less time with him or at his house? And how to get her to see that it's healthy and good for her to have interests and things in her life which have nothing to do with D? He doesn't want nor expect her life to revolve around him, but it has for several months now and that's put stress on him, on her and on all of us. Granted, he allowed her to spend that much time with him or at his house and has only been addressing the blow-ups when they happen, but now, moving forward, how do any of us handle this? Because the issue does effect all 4 of us and has the potential to damage or end his relationship with Ka.
Ahh, you already have the answer, grasshopper.
It's always a bit amusing to me how often people come here and post things like, "How do I tell him/her that . . . " and then basically express to the forum everything that needs to be said. Re-read your paragraph. It is direct, clear, and succinct -- and just about everything you could say to her. What else would you possibly need to tell her?