View Single Post
Old 07-24-2011, 08:01 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

The survey seems to put great emphasis on a hierarchy. If I have two relationships I consider equally important to me, they would both be primary (although I hate using that terminology). Okay, I could work within that, but I found the survey difficult to answer regarding one of mine, because it is long-distance. I have observed that lots of poly people seem to develop LDRs where most of the relationship-building takes place online, and the actual face-to-face interactions are few and far between. Lots of the questions are about how you show love and affection, how you know when someone needs something, looks, gestures, importance and frequency of sex, etc., seem more skewed toward relationships that cohabit or at least spend lots of time together. Could there be a way to account for the LDRs that abound in polyamory, or the "Solo Poly's" like myself? I think there should at least be a box we can fill in to explain the whys and wherefores of our relationships, because poly is not so cut-and-dried. Right now it might read strangely that, for someone I count as a "primary," I neither agree nor disagree in lots of the questions because they were more addressing stuff that is done in person. Am I making sense?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote