Well things seem to be going better, if anyone is following this. M doesn't talk much to her mom but she hasn't disowned her yet like we thought. My H needs some lessons on trying to keep everyone happy though. He seems to forget about me in his NRE. I tried even reminding him all of the time how much I love him and even surprised him with some day time sneaking off lovin. But I don't get much of it back.
One thing I'm not sure we are doing right is time management. Since my OSO lives with us, when M is there then her and H are a couple and J and I are. When she isn't then H and I are the couple and J gets loving looks. I really feel like this leaves H with all of the attention all of the time. He is fine with the way things are working of course lol. The reason it started that way is because M is mono and I am trying to respect the fact that she isn't used to seeing her bf with someone else. She understands we are married and we still kiss each other good bye and good night but when she stays the night 5 or 6 nights out of the week I start to feel a little left out. H says I should at least be happy j is there all of the time so I am not lonely but I miss H and sometimes it gets to be too much. I end up having a mini break down and having a day where I just cry for no other reason. Sitting at work? crying. Going to the gas station? crying. People in this small town probably think I am just so un happy with everything and I'm really not.
Something that has been bothering both of us girls are we are the only two with jobs right now. J usually takes care of the kids, washes dishes and does the laundry and H will find something to do during the day most days but us girls are the only ones bringing in any money. Last night I found out I should be starting a second job (working with M, she will be my boss! That might bring on a whole new set of issues) because we need the money and they desperately need the help. J was so bothered by this and was very upset all night that I had to get 2 jobs to take care of 4 kids and 2 men. I don't know if it will motivate him any but it was real emotion when he spoke. H on the other hand said "Well there ya go baby" lol I just felt like I wasn't worth enough to him at all last night. Now he wants to know what is wrong and I am reluctant to say anything to him. I don't want to fight today it is my son's birthday party and I don't want him pissy all day.
Ok I am done rambling just had to get the off my chest. I feel better already.