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Old 07-23-2011, 07:23 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Guilty2 View Post
She has severe back and shoulder problems, which will require surgery. She is always in constant severe pain. . . . Month or so ago, her grandmother passed.
Originally Posted by Guilty View Post
. . . she's just trying to figure out how to manage everything and everyone in her life and manage time for us. She texts a good bit because it let's her communicate with us while trying to do other things like study for her LSAT that's coming up and cook and tend to her son as well as manage other things.
Goodness! That is a busy person! A wife and mother in a poly relationship, studying for the LSATs, just lost her grandmother, and suffers from back and shoulder pain which needs surgery. Geez, cut the woman some slack! She can't talk to you for not even a week, and you're crying about it? You don't see that as a tad bit selfish on your part? Do you have any idea how stressful and anxiety-provoking it is to prepare for and take the LSATs? And to have all those other things going on? And now her boyfriend is whining about not hearing from her often enough -- if I were her, I'd be backing off a bit from the needy, sulky lover just to deal with these important things going on in my life. She can't take care of your insecurities and herself, man.
Originally Posted by Guilty2 View Post
. . . the 4 of us are one family. But I don’t feel it a lot of times. Not from her. I don’t leave family hanging and not talk to them for days at a time because I am “busy”.
Wow, and you even have the audacity to put quote marks around the word busy, as if she's bullshitting you or has no right to say she's busy -- when obviously, she is. This is a very condescending attitude to have -- and likely camouflaging some very deep-rooted insecurity and need for reassurance. Yikes, Guilty2, it's time to put on your big boy pants and deal! You're married, she's married with lots on her plate -- it's really not unreasonable to have a few days or longer between phone calls. Why do you think it has to mean something negative? Perhaps you are not occupied enough in your own life with something that gives you satisfaction.

Please note: I'm a New Yorker, and tend to be blunt. All the above has been written in the spirit of tough love. HTH!!!
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Last edited by nycindie; 07-23-2011 at 07:49 AM.
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