View Single Post
Old 07-23-2011, 01:10 AM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 164

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Hey Serial (cereal ? )
"Cereal?" "Serial monogamy" is a self-evident concept isn't it? It's when people have one partner at a time but not one partner (only) for life.

What are you getting at here ?
What do you mean when you say "don't desire SIMULTANEOUS poly" ?
In my personal situation, what I mean is that I have been married and divorced and now I don't see myself dating more than one person at a time, but I also don't see myself committing again to a life long relationship the way I did when I was married. So I guess it means I'm poly but can't handle more than one relationship at a time.

I think the whole 'commitment' thing is largely cultural and difficult to discuss without evoking gender specific emotions.
I'm not sure what this means or why you're saying it. I'm not trying to evoke emotions. I'm just trying to get insight into relationships beyond my own limited point of view.

I think commitment to ANYTHING has to be much more variable than people want to allow for. Things change. People change. You can't logically make some crystal ball projection indefinitely out into the future as if the future were not subject to those changes.
Yeah, that's the way I thought of commitment when I was 20. Gradually it evolved into a stronger concept. I don't think commitment is black and white, i.e. you're either committed or you're not. Someone could commit to a 5 year relationship, but it might be very painful when you end it after 5 years. The whole thing confuses me because it seems like relationships can only work if you live in the moment and avoid planning for the future.

That said - my mate and I have been together since teenagers - but it's always been one day at a time. Or at least - till our 'shared' responsibilities lapsed (kids). That's a mutual commitment.
Well, it can be a shock when one person cashes in on their freedom one day to leave. Who knows why people get sick of each other and don't want to be around the other anymore but it happens. How do you not promise you'll love someone forever out of honesty and not ruin what you have with them in the present?