Originally Posted by serialmonogamist
........... So when you commit to a potentially lifelong (monogamous) relationship, you are excluding the possibility of entertaining any other relationship potential. Yet if you don't desire (simultaneous) polyamory, then the question is whether you should identify with polyamory or monogamy. Or can you be both?
Hey Serial (cereal ?
What are you getting at here ?
What do you mean when you say "don't desire SIMULTANEOUS poly" ?
I think the whole 'commitment' thing is largely cultural and difficult to discuss without evoking gender specific emotions.
I think commitment to ANYTHING has to be much more variable than people want to allow for. Things change. People change. You can't logically make some crystal ball projection indefinitely out into the future as if the future were not subject to those changes.
We 'commit' to something because we see win-win(s) in it and when that stops being the case we do have to reevaluate what makes the most sense (for all). Otherwise 'commitment' is nothing more than a TRAP !
I tend to 'commit' to today - and the start of tomorrow. My vision simply doesn't extend beyond that.
That said - my mate and I have been together since teenagers - but it's always been one day at a time. Or at least - till our 'shared' responsibilities lapsed (kids). That's a mutual commitment.