Originally Posted by NeonKaos
I also think the rule about not doing things with other people that you haven't done with each other is kind of silly. What do you do, stop in the middle of sex and say "i can't do that until i do it witb him/her. ". Then go back to your partner and say "so and so tried XYZ on me so can we do that so i can do it with other people?"
Thanks for responding.
That particular rule does make perfect sense if you seriously want to follow the Primary/Secondary role definitions. Doing something outside of your primary committed relationship implies that your primary isn't really your primary. It reduces everyone to a secondary role and very few (if any) relationships can survive that.
Keep in mind that we talked through these rules at length for a very long time before opening our marriage. These rules are design to protect the marriage and also designed to ensure that beither one of us is ever made to feel less importaqnt than we really are.