I think that's the real issue... work people are your co-workers, they are NOT your friends. They are not going to ask you questions about what's going on, they don't know the real you enough to hear what you're saying and accept it. They are going to see things, make assumptions and then most likely talk behind your back to other people about it and treat you differently.
I realize not ALL work people are like this, but in my 27 something years of working, especially in offices, this is mostly what goes on.
Now yes... if you've been in a place long enough, and have created relationships with people and know them enough to feel comfortable introducing another partner, then fine. But that's something that comes with time, and you have to make a judgment call on how it will be received.
And yes, I also agree with RP that if something is bothering you, you definitely need to communicate that. I am finding that hubs and I discussing this beforehand has helped. In other words, I've told him that when something's bugging me, or an issue I am going to tell him about it (and I hope he does the same). He doesn't need to automatically react to it, it's not an attack, it's just an issue and we can talk about it and maybe it's just something I have to work through, or maybe it's something he didn't realize or maybe it's a problem I'm seeing that he missed. Either way, if it's out in the open we can make a decision about it, work on it and move on.