Thanks for your response, AnnabelMore. My BF is not "in love" with me either, so isn't it funny that I put such weight on it for my husband? I love my BF but I know he is in the relationship as a friends with benefits, temporary arrangement. I'm perfectly ok with that, so maybe my husband's new girl will be, too. I'm a little afraid she could turn out to be a cowgirl, but up to this point I have no reason to suspect that. He's been very clear with her that he has no intention of leaving his wife and family.
Poly does challenge things, doesn't it? I'm learning so much, and redefining my previous ideas about love and sex.
I'm also having to walk the walk, now that my husband is developing a relationship of his own. It's harder than I thought, to be on this side!
I think I have to remember that he has a right to his own relationships, too, and I don't have to be sticking my nose into everything. I can trust in love. Okay, EXHALE!