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Old 07-21-2011, 12:56 AM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 80

Originally Posted by sage View Post
please email me your response
Should be in your mailbox.

one of what I'll call "The big Suggstions" that most people who live their lives from a Christian platform adhere to.
Something I learned once...
The difference between a little truth and great truth:
The opposite of a little truth is a falsehood.
The opposite of a great truth is another great truth.

I wonder if the big Suggestions fall into the great truth department.

the whole thing about idols and money;
It seems to me that we as a society treat monogamy like an idol. It is above question. Anyone caught violating monogamy is whispered about in scandalized tones.

I struggled with the "Thou shalt not commit adultery" bit too. I worried and worried that I was reading what I wanted to read with the property crime interpretation. But in the end, the facts are the facts. Adultery was indeed a property crime when that law was written. Women were the property of their fathers first, and then their husbands. Notice Exodus 20:17:

"17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."

The wife doesn't even get top billing! The house comes first!

"... nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."

It's all about property.

Further, a man couldn't commit adultery against his wife. Only against another man.

All this figured into my wrestling with Scriptures. All this contributed to my understanding that the Scriptures were written for a people in a place in a time. They were never written for today's people in today's places in today's time. I can read them for insight, hints, and clues. I can't read them for directives.

I'm using the principles of AA to deal with it, which is handing over my will to a power greater than myself. This is another "Big Suggestion" that I have seen works out best for me.
I understand this. I've done this. Especially when things get really bizarro.
which happens sometimes. Hey, I don't need to land in the belly of a whale!

"Are there more issues than just polyamory involved? What about security, companionship, and simplicity? Are they missing too?" - No, I feel very secure in my relationship, we live simply and are best, best friends. My problems are around depth of relationship and feeling. There is something disturbing for me in being totally invested emotionally when my partner is not because he also loves someone else.
Have you seen the book, "Cinderella Ate My Daughter"? I haven't read it, only heard about it. It's about how the picture perfect princess tale, including Prince Charming, is taking over our daughters' imaginations. They expect their entire lives to be exactly like that.

What's more, the picture perfect romantic tale of "happily ever after" has been insinuating itself into all our lives for so long that it has become like the air we breathe -- we don't even know it's there. Or maybe like all those chemicals and plastics floating around in all our bloodsteams without our knowledge, with unknown toxicity levels.

I'm a committed poly, a poly activist. And sometimes **I** get frustrated around depth of relationship and feeling from my husband, and I feel neglected and want to scream. But you know what? I had times like that long before we transitioned away from monogamy. There's something about those secure, companionable, simple, best-of-friends, long-term committed relationships, they just don't spark the same kind of NRE - new relationship energy. And the toxic Cinderella/Prince Charming virus lurking in our hearts starts to whisper ugly "not enoughs" at us. Because we've been eaten by Cinderella.

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