Originally Posted by jasminegld
Drinking too much? Or one glass of wine with dinner every day?
Yes well it started out at 1-2 glasses with dinner everyday. But as my marriage worsened I started using it to feel better. The 'usual" crept up to 2-3-4 glasses; weekend socialising would usually cut out a bottle and when I was particularly upset I would just take a whole bottle of wine and drink it all so I could carry on. After my marriage broke up I was able to peg it back to a couple of glasses most days with a bit more in the weekends but I was always wanting more, even though I didn't allow myself. When I tried to stop on a daily basis I would end up drinking more when I did drink. When I did stop altogether I really started to craving it, this never went away and I ended up going back to it because emotional stuff started coming up that I couldn't deal with. I tried to stop and tried to be very moderate in my drinking for over a year without much success.
Being in AA I realise I had a long way to go to be the 'classic' alcoholic but I have got too much to do with the rest of my life to be putting so much effort into regulating my alcohol intake. Trust me, I am much better off without it. The bonus of it all is that I probably feel the closest to God that I have in my whole life and that is something I have also craved.