Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Yes, "who are you?" as the caterpillar asked. Many people lose track of this in a marriage and especially after having kids. It's great to really get reacquainted with that journey. Poly can force you to answer that question... and it's fun to find out! Treat yourself as your own primary, take yourself out on dates, see friends one on one or in groups without your partner, read, work out, watch a movie or TV show you know she wouldn't care for, do engrossing hobbies, volunteer work, etc etc.
Yeah, I have a few ideas lined up for september, things to try, going out with people etc. It will give me the time I need to deal with her relationship. The beast of jealousy and fear does rear its ugly head quite frequently, but I am aware of it now, and it's quite fascinating to be able to go "heeey, hang on, that's YOU again", and start dealing with it. I'm not always successful, but I am actually aware. If nothing else, I'm feeling better about myself, of what I can do, choices I can make, the love I can share, and the pain I can accept and deal with...